her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
