hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
