there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
