Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just had sex bonerless
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
