She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
