dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
a search helicopter?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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