im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
