he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am one with the molecules
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
