Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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