I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
