so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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