these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
