I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
