your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
