How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
