Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
