hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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