hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
