Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I need moral support for this bender
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just high enough for therapy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
