Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
