Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
