So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
