Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
