I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
