I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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