At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
