He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
