I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
