Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She's the barista slut.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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