so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
