M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
