So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
