i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
