i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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