is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
