I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
