trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can I color on your dick again?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
