my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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