And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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