If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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