Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
