I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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