I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
