She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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