she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
