Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
