this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she peed on how many people?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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