I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
