NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
