gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
