he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
