Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
